"I really appreciate my good days more than I ever have in my life."

What does time mean to me after being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer?

Time is relative. Time is definite. Time seems short when diagnosed with recurrence and metastasis. Time seems an eternity when searching for a cure.

On my good days, time seems to fly, allowing me to fill in my hours and feel somewhat productive. I appreciate when I feel well enough to do things around the house, like dusting and cooking.

On my bad days, time slows. I want the pain to diminish but it lingers. Each minute seems to drag by. I feel useless and burdensome.

There are good days and bad days. I really appreciate my good days more than I ever have in my life. When I feel good, I do what I can and what I feel like doing. When I feel bad, I go to bed. I seem to require more rest than I have ever required.

What I have been told by my doctors is that my cancer grows slowly but it is persistent. After all the chemo and radiation…it’s still persistent. I wonder: will I die from this, or something else? Will they finally find a cure for metastasis? Will they find a way to make living with this easier? Or are they resolute that they have done all they can?

[tr-shareit title=”Janet: Time Seems an Eternity When Searching for a Cure” text=”Time seems an eternity when searching for a cure.” sites=”twitter,facebook,google” align=”center”]Time seems an eternity when searching for a cure.[/tr-shareit]

To all the ones who have died with this horrible disease: I pray you haven’t died in vain, that money and research will find a cure. I pray your daughters and sons and grandchildren will not have to face this in their lifetime and that a cure will be found.

Time is relevant, short, and elusive all at the same time.